So, many folks who know me personally, or at least have been paying attention for the past year or so, know I’ve transitioned to the polyamory philosophy. It’s been quite the journey too…a painful one and a lonely one. Ironically enough, the two core relationships that were the catalysts for my awakening to polyamory both ended. I’ve lost more deep love than I’ve gained, and though I’ve yet to experience a poly-structured romantic relationship, I’ve experienced enough break up and heartache to feel like I have.
Many would ask, then what’s the point? Why not just be happy back in monogamy since it’s easier? Truthfully, I’ve asked my Self these same questions. What IS the point of polyamory, of being open to gaining more love, only to lose it all in the end?
But the point isn’t polyamory itself. The point is the journey. The point is deeper Self discovery. The point is finding your truths. What I’ve learned about life and love and my Self (and others) on this journey has been expansive. A whole new layer to my Self that I didn’t know even existed has been unearthed.
I’ve gone through and am still going through a brand new coming out process, complete with the standard fear, doubt, loneliness, depression, and folks asking me the same questions about being poly (no, it’s not just about sex…yes, I still want a partner…no, I don’t NEED multiple partners, I’m just open to loving more than one if the opportunity arises).
But under all of the more negative feelings and obstacles are the gems and jewels of knowing that I’ve become more of who I am. Any major life transition will bring us some pain and may cost us some relationships. Growth and change wouldn’t happen without it. But at the end of journey, we find that the view we have of ourselves is much wider, much more open, and much more true. That our relationship with life and Self has become much deeper and authentic.
And we realize, THAT was the entire point.
Be well, Spirits.